A frequent discussion I have with potential clients concerns a comparison between divorce and legal separation. These are sensitive issues for each client who wishes to have this discussion because they are on the brink of having a divorce they are trying to avoid. The typical divorce client is looking to end a marriage and so is their spouse. When both parties want a divorce there is less tip toeing that needs to take place in order to potentially save the marriage. There is always going to be a need for a soft approach when it comes to preserving a workable relationship between the parties after divorce but there is no interest in preserving the marriage itself in most cases. Thus, legal separation clients typically require a fairly unique approach.
“A shot across the bow” is the best way to describe the typical legal separation client’s reasoning for seeking a separation. There are often complaints about a spouses conduct that is causing major marital issues and is unlikely to stop without drastic measures. The goal is to send a solid warning of pending divorce if the conduct does not cease. When a person files for legal separation it should be taken very seriously by their spouse because filing requires significant effort and can be very costly. It is not a simple ten minute process to go about a legal separation and the spouse who did not file for separation must be aware that there are major issues if their husband or wife is going through such trouble to fire a warning shot. If it was a war, then the filing spouse is drawing their weapon and preparing to shoot. It is best that the non filing spouse take evasive action.
I have been fortunate enough to have seen numerous legal separation filings effective fix marital issues. However, I have also seen just as many legal separations turn in to divorce proceedings. This should be a very real concern in the mind of a person considering filing for legal separation because not only will the process be taxing for the filing party but it will most likely be equally time consuming and costly for the responding party. The process alone can cause a separation to turn in to a divorce if not handled delicately. Legal separations are very similar to divorces in many cases. The custody and support of the children must be dealt with and set in stone. The marital property must be divided up and also set in stone.
You probably couldn’t imagine the language I have heard clients use when finding out their spouse is seeking child support from them and trying to withhold visitation with the children. The same can be said with one spouse requesting maintenance / alimony from the other spouse. During divorces these issues frequently lead to a souring of the relationship between the parties. An outcome which can be disastrous for children of the marriage. So, how does one approach such sensitive issues while at the same time being careful not to disturb the remaining marital harmony between the parties? That depends on the the case and the clients. Each case is different and the needs of each client are different. There are certain best practices that are constant in these situations. The most important is making sure a client is fully aware of their rights and potential reprucussions of exercising said rights. Another common practice is to soften to language of client requests so as to not spook or anger their spouse. Overall, legal separations may require a bit more of a tailor made representation for each client than an uncontested divorce. This is something an experienced legal separation attorney can usually do.
If you are looking to hiring a legal separation or divorce attorney in the Kansas City or Lee’s Summit area then please contact me and I will gladly discuss your matter with you.